Want to be happy? Say goodbye to insecurity! PlanetVesper
We are called the "narcissistic generation." In the throes of technology and social media, we have forgotten to recognize our true selves, we are very rough with ourselves. But if that's true, we should be happy now, right? Forgetting one's own disability and walking around confidently is everywhere, isn't it?
But the reality is the opposite.
In reality we are all unhappy. Because there is no gross narcissism behind our actions, our thoughts, there is no illusory pride or selfishness. Because we all have the same driving force - "insecurity." If you look inside any of the people around us, you will see that beyond all emotions, there is only one feeling, insecurity.
Our insecurity is about our appearance, our skin color, our height, our intelligence; Not with what! Always telling myself, you are not enough. You are not beautiful You're boring. You have no future. Someone is saying, you are not worthy of your family. Someone is saying you are not worthy of your beloved. Every step of the way we are feeling our own incompetence, later on in the vicious cycle of insecurity.
However, the purpose of my article today is not to make friends with you in the gossip of insecurities, but to find an effective solution to this problem. To solve this, we must first understand the nature of these insecurities. Once we understand the nature of something, we can find a way to prevent it by hitting the root of the matter. I will have that effort in this article.
I have tried to analyze the answers of different people by asking them about their insecurities. By doing this, I have seen that all these insecurities have some common features. By understanding these features, we will move forward to get rid of insecurity. Let's discuss the features first-
Insecurities originate from past experience-
Insecurity about your height or skin color usually starts in childhood. When someone in your family makes harsh remarks about them. Then that insecurity grows if you are teased and ridiculed in the next life. The same is true of your intelligence or efficiency. You will begin to feel that you are not good enough when your classmates or a teacher will show you the matter through their words or actions. Your past experience has unknowingly played the biggest role in creating your insecurities.
These have a deep connection with personal dissatisfaction.
We are not satisfied with any of the issues that we suffer from insecurity. We may think that our voices are not strong enough, that our speech is not properly arranged. In other words, dissatisfaction and insecurity are tied in the same thread.
The thought of "what people will think" is part of all insecurity.
The thought "what will people say" is an integral part of our Bengali mind. And the minds of insecure people are full of these thoughts. The more you worry about your own image, the more insecurity will overwhelm you.
Insecurity is a negative emotion-
All insecurity-related thoughts are negative thoughts. This is no exception. Every time you think of insecurity, you will notice that all the sentences in that thought end with 'no'.
All insecure thoughts become more frightening as a result of comparison with others-
Yes, we can all relate to this. Whenever we go to compare with others, our insecurities become more frightening.
Now considering these features we will figure out a way to deal with our insecurities. That's exactly what I did here. But let's see how you can deal with your insecurities.
1. Start by forgiving your past-
If your insecurity starts with a relative's use or a friend's harsh remarks, admit it to yourself first. Then try to look at that past with a forgiving look. Understand yourself, everyone is just as insecure as you, no one is perfect. When they mocked you, said incomplete, they also had the driving force of their own insecurity. Yes, it is true that their behavior was not right, but how many of us can always do the right thing?
They have made a mistake to make you smaller, but you can only make yourself bigger by forgiving them, because being angry with them does not help you in any way. Rather this anger is taking you back again and again to your disability. So slowly remove this past from your life, then your insecurities will also start to disappear slowly.
2. Learn to accept your whole-
At this stage of writing, try to evaluate yourself a little. Try to identify the parts of your body and being that you don't really like, that you have to struggle to accept. Instead of looking at those parts with a look of dissatisfaction, look at them in a positive light. Try to understand that you are not solely responsible for any part of your body or mind, there are thousands of genomes behind it.
Think about it, there is no true basis for calling any of these organs bad or good. Black to white is good, short to long is good - none of this is "social conditioning." Sometimes imperialism, sometimes capitalism has given birth to these strange ideas. So learn to look at yourself with love. But you can keep yourself healthy, you can come out of insecurity. Being able to accept yourself is the second step to getting out of insecurity.
The approval of others does not actually affect your own life. What others think of you is completely irrelevant in your life. Live your life in your own thoughts, in your own morals, in your own philosophy of life. Whenever you feel that you are running after the approval of others, defining yourself by liking and sharing with others, then take that power from others to yourself. This does not mean that you will not keep others in your life, you will also love others, make connections with everyone. But you will keep the value in your life, you will practice self-approval, so you will bring life under your control.
4. Always keep yourself positive
Negativity will be your biggest enemy when you follow the steps above. Sometimes you lose faith in yourself, think - your insecurities may be logical. But one thing to keep in mind, how you think, is your choice. Whenever negative thoughts come to mind, bring positive thoughts away. Don't think about what you can't do, think about what you can do. Don't think about what you don't have, think about what you have. The insecurities will no longer find a place in your brain.
5. Rejoice in them without comparing yourself to other people
It is never helpful to compare what others are doing, where they are going, how happy they are, to themselves, but to the detriment of you. So when you see someone in a good position, be happy for them, respect them and try to learn from them. Every person's way of life is different. Just as he can be happy out of his way, so can you. Yes, we can all inspire each other, learn from each other. But in a real sense, none of us are competitors. So keep good wishes in mind for everyone and try from your own place.
As you practice these steps, bring confidence in yourself that you are well. Live every moment of life one by one, celebrate those moments. It's okay to run after success, but make the path to success yourself. Learn to recognize yourself, learn to understand the places of your strength. Learn to understand your weaknesses in the same way, let yourself know that every human being has such weaknesses. So learn to forgive people, build a loving relationship with everyone. And keep the thoughts positive, do not give place to negative thoughts in yourself. Then one day you will see your insecurities lost from life, you will not understand how you were once insecure.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201801/insecurity
https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-things-to-do-when-you-feel-insecure/
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